I've been thinking a lot lately about the things that matter to me as a human.
particularly other people, and how they affect me.
I've become a really strange person over the last year, and I'm not so sure how I feel about myself.

it's like I'm a washed out version of who I used to be.
a lot of fake happiness and over enthusiasm that masks a lot of ridiculously touchy-feely behaviour that I have no clue how to deal with.

i hate to be an asshole, but i feel like I can blame most of this confusion on a few choice people in my life who completely confound me with their cruelty.

i need to break out.
i need a break.

off to Long Island for Thanksgiving with Brianna & Co. I'm pretty much stoked.


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Now playing: Dropkick Murphys - The Gang's All Here
via FoxyTunes

twenty

twenty.
what?

th0ughts from my birthday:

make friends with franzia.

• "John Steel in Cocks Among the Mayflowers."-brianna
• "always, she's asking questions, perhaps?"-edgar
• "nine, bust a rhyme. and i must say i do love rhyming."-candy
• "the balls in the eyes isn't so bad. it's like when you go to the spa and they give you cucumbers"-brianna

i love my friends. so much.

thoughts before bed.

it's snowing outside. farewell for the season, canvas shoes.
i love laura.
i'm pumped for thanksgiving.

i love beer art. [my calling? perhaps]

sleep now.

exhausted, and very much looking forward to the weekend.

gangsta party tonight. :)

Leave No Trace Awareness Workshop on the farm [I'm teaching people how to poop in the woods]

speaking at 3 churches about the ecumenical youth group program that I'm spearheading.
oh my!

Oh, and doing homework or something.
frick.

i need to stop being such an abysmal slacker.

sometimes i just want to curl up into a ball and fade away.
things are good, so good.
my friends are amazing.

i'm just tired of feeling lonely.
i think i just want someone to hold me again.
hm.

these are not thoughts that i want to have.



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Now playing: The Format - On Your Porch
via FoxyTunes

november.

this weekend has taught me many things,
particularly things that
i will never do again.

i need to be better for myself.

yup.

50 Things that bring me joy

1. Tea
2. Being Warm
3. Bean and cheese burritos with guacamole
4. Quidditch
5. Climbing things
6. Pine Trees
7. Stars
8. Camp songs
9. Spending time with Caroline
10. Mac & Cheese
11. Kool-Aid Shots
12. Gilmore Girls
13. Baking
14. Asofterworld.com
15. Outdoor Recreating
16. Basket-making
17. things that are green
18. kurt halsey
19. tattoos
20. Polaroid pictures
21. Mail
22. Males
23. William Faulkner
24. Ginger Peach Tea in particular
25. Birthday Cake
26. flannel
27. old spice
28. going out on dates
29. profanity
30. Brianna Regan McGarril
31. Cuddling
32. country songs
33. sleeping outside
34. hammocks
35. Magic Hat no. 9
36. the state of Oregon
37. kissing people on the cheek
38. my baby brother.
39. Sunday School
40. saying the rosary
41. making things
42. puddles, the kind you jump in
43. building campfires
44. rain
45. learning new things
46. typewriters
47. girly climbing gear
48. mountains
49. family
50. my friends

Yes We Can!

it is official:

my suspicions were correct: Barack Obama is the new president. 338-155..wow. George Bush has been in office since I was 12 years old. Finally, I am able to have faith in my government, proud of my nation. I will not have to put a canadian flag on my backpack when I travel around Europe. I have never been happier in my life. I have spent the last hour dancing, laughing, screaming, singing, and hugging. I feel so alive.

As Caroline and I discussed: Moving out of the country is a choice now, not an obligation.

John McCain gave the classiest concession speech I have ever heard. He was gracious, eloquent...he was human in a capacity I wish he would have been during the last several months of this election.

"I wish godspeed ot the man who was my former opoponent and will be my president." Then he asked his countrymen "to not despair of our difficulties but to always believe in the promise of America.
-http://blogs.tnr.com/tnr/blogs/the_plank/archive/2008/11/04/mccain-s-concession-speech.aspx

I can still here screaming crowds, battle horns, and bongo music on the other side of campus. Streakers just ran past my window. And now I go to sleep, and I will sleep easy.

It is 10:10pm.
I am fairly confident that I can call the election right now.

Barack Hussein Obama will be the 44th president of the United States.
He has 206 electoral votes, and is going to win the West Coast.
I have never been more proud to be an American Citizen.

He is the hope I've been waiting for. Our first African American President.

I am so alive right now, I can taste it.
As soon as CNN calls it, I will be a happy cat.

They just called Vermont.
Obama, all the way.
Gotta love my #2 state.

Election Day

I have just woken up.
Today is Election Day, Nov. 4th.
and I am a little bit nervous.

I have always been politically active, but this is my first election. I voted for Barack Hussein Obama. I hope he becomes our president.

As we go through the day today, I am praying and hoping that Barack does become the president of our nation, because...well...the alternative terrifies me.

During this next presidential term, I will progress further into my adult life. I want change in this country-so I can know that it is safe for me to begin raising children and starting a family. In a nation without war, in a nation free from prejudice, in a nation that cares about the earth. Now, I'm not planning on popping out kids as soon as Obama takes office, but...I guess my own adult life is looming on the horizon, it's tangible now. The results of this election will have a significant impact on how that adult life plays out.


ugh. Off to work.