this weekend:
5 hours of sleep.
at least 30 beers consumed.
1 traveling party
1 Clint Eastwood movie & 1 Broken Lizard movie
3 breakfast burritos
20 minutes of listening to beating hearts.
1 resumed friendship

awesome life decisions to be had.
last night was incredible,
and cleared up all of what
I've been lacking in the last year.

last night, my friend I'd lost I found again. It took several hours of
blathering drunkenly about how sorry we were,
but I think we're back. thank god.

i do not know how i am still alive right now.
by all accounts I should be dead.

this has been a better, better, best weekend.

win.

so, as my old laptop is caput, I lost about 30 movies that I had stored on my harddrive.
amongst those were some of my favorites: Boondock Saints, Beerfest, etc. It was a huge loss.

eff.

however, I just found my old DVD Case! yes! So I thought I would make a list of movies here.
If anyone wants to watch them, let me know.

1. Giant
2. Return to Paradise
3. Atonement
4. Pi
5. East of Eden
6. Mona Lisa Smile
7. Knocked Up
8. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
9. Big Daddy (don't ask questions)
10. Running With Scissors
11. Transformers
12. Raise Your Voice (again...don't ask questions)
13. TransAmerica
14. Tomb Raider I
15. Tomb Raider II
16. Orange County
17. School Of Rock
18. Man of the Year
19. Rebel Without A Cause
20. Sixteen Candles
21. Finding Nemo
22. The DaVinci Code
23. Finding Nemo
24. The Devil Wears Prada
25. Gone in 60 Seconds
26. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Ani Difranco is performing at HIGHER GROUND!
oh my lord.
i need to get a contingency to Burlington.

in other news...
I do make poor choices,
but people who are not involved in or effected by those choices need to keep their fucking mouths shut. especially if those same people are guilty of the same crime.

there is one person who has every right to talk shit, be mean, yell and scream at me. One. that is the person who was horrendously wronged in this situation. I take full responsibility for my actions. I am sick to my stomach with guilt. That one person has the right to say whatever they want about me.

other people, particularly people who have on a regular basis committed the same offense I have, with NO remorse, and not ONE shred of honesty, don't have any right to say shit. So they should keep that in mind. Stop being a hypocrite.

I apologize for my language. But I'm upset and I'm resisting the urge to punch a bitch in the face.

PLD

if your name is Candy J Smith....
you make bad decisions.
you need to stop doing this.

you should drink more wine, and flirt less.
you should go to church every Sunday.
you should practice climbing knots instead of getting mad at stupid girls who sign up for your trips for no discernible purpose other than to make you so effing miserable.

you should speak up, because if you don't others will.

thoughts for the collective you.

cried all night, till there was nothing more.
what use am I as a heap on the floor?
heaving devotions but it's just no good,
takin it hard just like you knew I would.

old habits die hard.
when you've got a sentimental heart.
piece of the puzzle,
you're my missing part,
what can you do with a sentimental heart.

the people of 2008

inspired as i ever am by Barbara Walters, I've been thinking a lot about the past year, and who MY most amazing people of 2008 were. There have been a lot of people in my life, and I want to thank everyone, even those I may not write about directly, for the profound influence you have had on me in the past year. And now to the list.

1. Caroline Marie Beranek: As always, you are my best friend and my world. You are there for me no matter what. We both are stubborn and stupid, but most importantly, we love eachother. I'd be lost without you, girl.
2. Stacey Bushey: I am so grateful that you have become my friend this year. You are a rock in my life, more than I think you'll ever know. You're amazing, and I love you.
3. Brianna McGarril: You are one of the most genuine people I've ever met. Having you in my life has been the most amazing thing ever.
4. Laura Elizabeth Maki: YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. You are my roommate (basically for life), and you know me way to well. Thank you for always being there, and for always being honest with me.
5. Rachel Worrell: You are possibly the nicest human being I have ever known. You give so much of yourself to everyone, and I thank you so much for that.
6. Chris Ricker: You know. You know. We are both assholes, but you lift me up when I'm feeling down, and for that I thank you always.
   
7. Derek Gavelis: Despite everything, I thank you for what you've done. I'm my own person now, more than I was before. You are a good man, and I will always stand by that.
8. Lauren Laws: Astwo. You got me through the summer, and you are a light in my life. I love you girl.
9. Jack Pennington: I miss you. You shaped my year in more ways than I think I will ever realize on my own. You left a wake, baby.
   
10. John Gaeddert: I love you kid. There is no one in the world I would rather read Bukowski and watch James Dean with. You're one of the most insightful human beings I've ever met, and I'm lucky to know you.
11. Ukiah Pearson: Whoooah buddy. I miss you too. It seems like our lives are getting hectic and we're becoming grown ups. But our paths will cross again soon, and we'll have ridiculous times again.
12. Jeff & Edgar: While you each hold a special place in my heart, I can't think of one of you with out the other. You two are magical, and you give me faith in men. You are the best. Period.
13. Joshy: Let's go streaking?
14. Melissa Theil-Stenson: Moose. You are my hero.

there are many people in my life that I didn't mention, not because I don't love you, just because the words aren't as easy to write as I thought they would be. I love you all always, thank you for everything.

here's to 2009?

----------------
Now playing: Feist - Mushaboom
via FoxyTunes

impending winter

And after all it won't take long to fall in love
Now I know what I don't want
I learned that with you

it's been a long semester.
the good has been fucking phenomenal,
but the bad has been in proportion.
i need a break from the east for a while.
there are so many people here that i love, which makes going home hard, cause i miss them constantly.

but i miss home. & caroline & my family & my pups & everything.

ten days till oregon.